A Eulogy for Bonnie Coatney, 25 Years Late

In a recent exchange of e-mails with a friend, I said—and he felt the same way—that I wish I had been more mature in my youth. During the 12 years I spent as a student in the Dallas Independent School District, there were numerous opportunities to show kindness to those in need of it. I was young, true. But does that excuse me from doing what, from the perspective of a man who is much closer to sunset than to sunrise, was clearly the right thing?

Bonnie Coatney, a Dallas native, attended neither of the elementary schools (Kiest and Hexter) that I did. But I am not sure whether she was a Hill kid or a Gaston kid. Those were the two junior highs that fed into Bryan Adams High School. As I was a Highlander (Hill) and not a Warrior (Gaston), I surmise that Bonnie was the latter because I would not forget a schoolmate who slowly and uneasily made her way down the halls and into classrooms on wooden crutches.

We were both Cougars between September 1968 and graduation day in late May 1971. I knew her name and saw her often; for what it’s worth, I had genuine compassion for Bonnie. As to whether we were ever in the same classes, I simply do not remember. Maybe. Like virtually all of the 1,100 members of our graduating class, I had my insecurities, problems and issues. Each of us was doing his or her best to get by academically and socially. But as indicated above, that hardly justifies me making no effort to befriend Bonnie.

I could have just introduced myself and said, in a non-threatening way, “Let’s be friends.” Having grown up just a little bit, that now seems to be the most natural thing. I have no idea with whom she shared meals in the BA lunchroom, but I could have made sure to eat with her at least once a week. If she needed help getting a tray of food, I would have happily obliged. Or how about helping carry her books from one classroom to another? If that made me late for some of my classes, I would have informed the teacher. If she or he made this an issue, I would have taken it up with the principal, Dearl Richardson.

Bryan Adams, a two-story edifice built in 1957, had no elevators as this was 33 years before passage and implementation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. So how in the world was she able to get up and down those stairs? Speculation about this seems useless, but perhaps it was arranged for her to have classes only on the first floor.

Bonnie may have had a fellow student assigned to help her, and if so that student would almost certainly have been a girl. Again, I have no memory of any such assistant. What I do remember, however, with utmost clarity, was her smile and cheerful attitude. She seemed to be a real sweetheart. The 1971 yearbook, El Conquistador, indicates that she was busy at Bryan Adams: Spirits, Y Teens, Spanish Club, biology lab assistant, PTA representative, Red Cross representative, office helper, Senior Play and Publicity Committee. She was on the B honor roll all three years. I can only surmise that she would have liked to be an able-bodied student, and thus perhaps a member of the Belles drill team, a cheerleader, a member of the swim or tennis teams, a thespian or part of the BA marching band. She could have been in the school’s social whirl, a blonde girl who was in constant demand for Friday-night dates. Under different circumstances, Bonnie might have been a superb dancer.

Had I made the effort to establish a friendship with her, would Bonnie have opened up about her true feelings? Could she, as a teenager, have articulated what it was like having rheumatoid arthritis, being tiny, weak and often in pain? (RA is an autoimmune disorder that primarily affects joints. Females are 2.5 times more likely to have it than males, and the usual onset is middle age. Bonnie, however, seems to have been born with it.) What kind of hopes and dreams did she have during our high school days? It would be presumptuous of me to even guess, but I darn sure should have been a listening ear. While she probably had a sad story to tell, I nonetheless owed it to her to hear it.

Graduation from BA was followed by two years at Eastfield College. Bonnie lived at home all her life and made some money by working for a clipping service. Beyond that, I only know (from her obituary in the Dallas Morning News) that she had an interest in genealogy and could trace both sides of her family back several generations; she had a brother, a step-brother and three step-sisters. Bonnie was blessed with 47 years, dying on September 16, 2001—five days after the awful events of 9/11. She was interred in the Garden of the Gospel section of Restland Memorial Park in Dallas. On my next trip to the USA, I plan to go there and pay my respects at her gravesite.

Bonnie Coatney, as she appeared in the 1971 Bryan Adams High School annual…

Bonnie and other members of the 1971 BA Spanish Club…

Bonnie!

The 1971 BA graduating class; Bonnie and her crutches are circled in blue…