Calling BS on the Harlem Globetrotters and Their Foils

Even when I was a tow-headed little boy in Dallas, I had my doubts about the Harlem Globetrotters and the form of “basketball” they played. Sure, I knew it was more entertainment than actual competition, more burlesque than sports. I would watch their games on television and wonder what exactly was behind all the grins and laughter. As the years have gone on, my skepticism has only grown. I now positively detest what the Globetrotters are about and more than them, their opponents—if that term may be applied here. After all, what kind of opponent willingly and eagerly assists in his own butt-kicking?

First, however, let’s take a quick look at the history of the Harlem Globetrotters. They were actually formed on the south side of Chicago (they are presently based in Phoenix) in 1927 but took the name because Harlem was well recognized as the center of black culture in the USA. For many years, they were one of the top touring basketball teams in the country, by which I mean legitimate teams. They played in established tournaments and leagues, and their skills were much appreciated by fans, media and opponents despite the racial restrictions placed on them. Within the confines of the USA, the Globetrotters faced teams such as the New York Rens, Chicago Bruins, Detroit Eagles, Oshkosh All-Stars, Toledo Jeeps, Tri-City Blackhawks, Phillips 66 Oilers and Sheboygan Redskins.

Yes, they have trotted the globe, playing in 120 countries against whoever was willing to step on the court with them. Their most famous players are Meadowlark Lemon, Curly Neal, Marques Haynes, and Goose Tatum, although future NBA stars like Wilt Chamberlain and Connie Hawkins wore the gaudy red-white-and blue unis of the Globetrotters. Bob Gibson, the St. Louis Cardinals’ superb pitcher, spent one season with them, too. All that is beside the point since somewhere along the way, they morphed from a real basketball team into a bunch of athletic clowns.

I leave aside their levity-filled pre-game hijinks—fancy dribbling, dunks with one guy standing on another’s shoulders, playing to the crowd, and so forth. If that were all they did, I would not care. But there is much more. Once the whistle blows, they pull their opponents’ shorts down, stick the ball inside their opponents’ jersey, tie their opponents’ shoestrings together, bring another ball on court and other such gags. The Globetrotters engage in egregious traveling and other violations that the “referees” appear not to notice. I started to watch one of their videos the other day and was so irked that I turned it off after less than 30 seconds.

My motivation to write this piece derives from the recent death of Louis Herman “Red” Klotz, longtime player and coach of the Washington Generals. Just hearing the name “Washington Generals” makes me want to holler. Every obituary I read of Klotz was careful to praise him and the so-called team he led. The fact that they lost to the Globetrotters more than 13,000 times and somehow managed to win just six games evidently made them sweet and adorable. We had belly laughs galore, peace and brotherhood, and we all went home happy. So the obits seemed to say.

As much as I dislike the Harlem Globetrotters, I loathe the Washington Generals. This is partly because of the racial issue. The former “team” is made up entirely of blacks (yes, they had a European-American for the sake of diversity a few years back; they now have three women as well), and the latter is made up of European-Americans (they, too, have recently diversified with a black player or two). The Globetrotters are presented as supremely gifted and yet nonchalant, while the Generals are hopeless stiffs, easily bamboozled. They can’t jump, they can’t play the game worth a darn, and they are entirely clueless. Stupid is as stupid does. The Generals’ relationship to the Globetrotters is not that of genuine opponents but a weak-kneed loser and a powerful winner. Everything about the Generals says, “I give up. You are my daddy.”

So please don’t tell me the Harlem Globetrotters are funny, superb basketball players and court jesters. Don’t tell me, also, that I am missing the point. I lack neither a sense of humor nor the ability to engage in self-criticism. But the shows put on by the Globetrotters and their little eunuchs are just plain offensive.

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Jimmy Blacklock was with the Harlem Globetrotters for 14 seasons and became their coach in 2011. I recall him as a member of the UT basketball team at Gregory Gymnasium. The Longhorns’ second black player, Blacklock was a star in 1971 but lost his job in 1972 to Harry Larrabee, a less flashy but much steadier point guard. Larrabee was European-American.