During a hot summer day in 1975 in Nacogdoches, Texas, I was talking with a neighbor named Jim. He was a woebegone individual who drank too much. His story was a strange mixture of complaint and braggadocio. I listened until I could stand no more, finally asking, “What do you want, sympathy or praise? You can have one or the other, but not both.” While my response may not have been especially kind, it was an indirect way of telling Jim to shut up. He got the point.
I don’t know about sympathy, but Mike Shanahan liked praise. As incontrovertible proof thereof, I direct your attention to page 105 of my 2008 book entitled Denver Broncos Trivia Teasers.
Q: What adjectives did the 2006 Broncos media guide use to describe coach Mike Shanahan and his achievements?
A: "Dynamic" (twice), "disciplined," "successful," "exceptional," "brilliant" (twice), "superb" (twice), "ultra-impressive," "stunning," "legendary," "great," "intense," "personable" and "magnificent."
I wonder why all that gushing self-congratulation was necessary. Unlike Jim, Shanahan was eminently successful. He was the head coach of a team that had won two Super Bowls, he was paid a hefty salary, and he had no shortage of reasons to be happy with his life. Maybe he was insecure, or the Broncos’ publicity department thought over-the-top adoration of the coach was appropriate. I have no idea whatever happened to Jim, but Shanahan was fired by the Broncos after the 2008 season and now plies his trade with the Washington Redskins.
There is a related issue that bothers me more than both of them combined: advance praise for books. Before going any further, I will say that the very same thing is done for movies but it is even more egregious. Since I am a reader and not much of a film buff, I will limit my gripes to the world of books.
I surmise that a generation ago, the cover of a typical book had the title, the author’s name and some form of illustration. The back cover tended to be text pertaining to the contents, meant to entice people to buy and read the book then being held in their hands. Same for the dust jacket, although a short bio of the author and maybe a photo was not unusual.
Things have changed drastically. Now, what I see is a long list of quotes from purported experts and media outlets, all of which rave about the book, or worse, the author. I try to avoid rigid skepticism or cynicism, but this trend forces me into such a stance. Is the book really that good? For example, not long ago I purchased a sports biography. The cover features a glowing review, and there are five more on the back from the New York Times, New York Post, Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal and New York Daily News. Oh, but that is far from all. Open the book and you get no fewer than five solid pages of lavish praise. As with the above Shanahan bit, no compliment is too much: "wonderful," "stunning," "best," "dazzling," "extraordinary," "compelling" (twice), "complex," "dramatic," "transcendent" (twice), "skillful," "remarkable," "irresistible," "enthralling," "fascinating" (twice), "insightful," "terrific," "immaculate," "vivid" and "inimitable."
In order to obtain such sweet words, a publisher must go to the trouble of sending out advance copies of the book. What is understood and may even be stated without a shred of nuance is that flattery is sought. If a reviewer is going to slam the book or even give a reasoned assessment, his or her lines will not be used. And realistically, if the book is likely to sell well, those people want to have their names associated with it and prominently so. This is an unctuous and slimy business, and I have not been entirely free from it. One of my books—forgive me for not specifying which—was supposed to do relatively well. In cooperation with the publisher, I gave advance copies to numerous carefully chosen people. They did their part by saying nice things, although who knows whether they meant it?
The book may have sold better than my others, but that is damning with very faint praise—for which I request your sympathy.
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